Obamatopia

Political Science For Dummies

DEMOCRATIC


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.



REPUBLICAN


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?



SOCIALIST


You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.



COMMUNIST


You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.



CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE


You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.



BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE


You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.



AMERICAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.



FRENCH CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.



JAPANESE CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.



GERMAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.



ITALIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.



RUSSIAN CORPORATION


You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.



TALIBAN CORPORATION


You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION


You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.



POLISH CORPORATION


You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.



BELGIAN CORPORATION


You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.



FLORIDA CORPORATION


You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
S ome people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.



CALIFORNIA CORPORATION


You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Different Perspectives

The Global Islamic population is approximately 1,200,000,000 - ONE BILLION TWO HUNDRED MILLION or 20% of the world's population.

They have received the following Nobel Prizes:


Literature:

1988 - Najib Mahfooz

Peace:

1978 - Mohamed Anwar El-Sadat

1994 - Yaser Arafat:

1990 - Elias James Corey

1999 - Ahmed Zewai



Economics: (zero)



Physics: (zero)



Medicine:



1960 - Peter Brian Medawar

1998 - Ferid Mourad



TOTAL: 7 SEVEN



_______________________



The Global Jewish population is approximately 14,000,000 - FOURTEEN MILLION or about 0.02% of the world's population.



They have received the fo llowin g Nobel Prizes:



Literature:



1910 - Paul Heyse

1927 - Henri Bergson

1958 - Boris Pasternak

1966 - Shmuel Yosef Agnon

1966 - Nelly Sachs

1976 - Saul Bellow

1978 - Isaac Bashevis Singer

1981 - Elias Canetti

1987 - Joseph Brodsky

1991 - Nadine Gordimer World



Peace:



1911 - Alfred Fried

1911 - Tobias Michael Carel Asser

1968 - Rene Cassin

1973 - Henry Kissinger

1978 - Menachem Begin

1986 - Elie Wiesel

1994 - Shimon Peres

1994 - Yitzhak Rabin



Physics:



1905 - Adolph Von Baeyer

1906 - Henri Moissan

1907 - Albert Abraham Michelson

1908 - Gabriel Lippmann

1910 - Otto Wallach

1915 - Richard Willstaetter

1918 - Fritz Haber

1921 - Albert Einstein

1922 - Niels Bohr

1925 - James Franck

1925 - Gustav Hertz

1943 - Gustav Stern

1943 - George Charles de Hevesy

1944 - Isidor Issac Rabi

1952 - Felix Bloch

1954 - Max Born

1958 - Igor Tamm

1959 - Emilio Segre

1960 - Donald A. Glaser

1961 - Robert Hofstadter

1961 - Melvin Calvin

1962 - Lev Davidovich Landau

1962 - Max Ferdinand Perutz

1965 - Richard Phillips Feynman

1965 - Julian Schwinger

1969 - Murray Gell -Mann

1971 - Dennis Gabor

1972 - William Howard Stein

1973 - Brian David Josephson

1975 - Benjamin Mottleson

1976 - Burton Richter

1977 - Ilya Prigogine

1978 - Arno Allan Penzias

1978 - Peter L Kapitza

1979 - Stephen Weinberg

1979 - Sheldon Glashow

1979 - Herbert Charle s Brown

1980 - Paul Berg

1980 - Walter Gilbert

1981 - Roald Hoffmann

1982 - Aaron Klug

1985 - Albert A. Hauptman

1985 - Jerome Karle

1986 - Dudley R. Herschbach

1988 - Robert Huber

1988 - Leon Lederman

1988 - Melvin Schwartz

1988 - Jack Steinberger

1989 - Sidney Altman

1990 - Jerome Friedman

1992 - Rudolph Marcus

1995 - Martin Perl

2000 - Alan J. Heeger



Economics:



1970 - Paul Anthony Samuelson

1971 - Simon Kuznets

1972 - Kenneth Joseph Arrow

1975 - Leonid Kantorovich

1976 - Milton Friedman

1978 - Herbert A. Simon

1980 - Lawrence Robert Klein

1985 - Franco Modigliani

1987 - Robert M. Solo w

1990 - Harry Markowitz

1990 - Merton Miller

1992 - Gary Becker

1993 - Robert Fogel



Medicine:



1908 - Elie Metchnikoff

1908 - Paul Erlich

1914 - Robert Barany

1922 - Otto Meyerhof

1930 - Karl Landsteiner

1931 - Otto Warburg

1936 - Otto Loewi

1944 - Joseph Erlanger

1944 - Herbert Spencer Gasser

1945 - Ernst Boris Chain

1946 - Hermann Joseph Muller

1950 - Tadeus Reichstein

1952 - Selman Abra ham Waksman

1953 - Hans Krebs

1953 - Fritz Albert Lipmann

1958 - Joshua Lederberg

1959 - Arthur Kornberg

1964 - Konrad Bloch

1965 - Francois Jacob

1965 - Andre Lwoff

1967 - George Wald

1968 - Marshall W. Nirenberg

1969 - Salvador Luria

1970 - Julius Axelrod

1970 - Sir Bernard Katz

1972 - Gerald Maurice Edelman

1975 - Howard Martin Temin

1976 - Baruch S. Blumberg

1977 - Roselyn Sussman Yalow

1978 - Daniel Nathans

1980 - Baruj Benacerraf

1984 - Cesar Milstein

1985 - Mi chael Stuart Brown

1985 - Joseph L. Goldstein

1986 - Stanley Cohen [& Rita Levi-Montalcini]

1988 - Gertrude Elion

1989 - Harold Varmus

1991 - Erwin Neher

1991 - Bert Sakmann

1993 - Richard J . Robe rts

1993 - Phillip Sharp

1994 - Alfred Gilman

1995 - Edward B. Lewis



TOTAL: 129 ONE HUNDRED TWENTY NINE!



The Jews are not promoting brain washing the children in military training camps, teaching them how to blow themselves up and cause maximum deaths of Jews and other non Muslims!



The Jews don't hijack planes, nor kill athletes at the Olympics or blow themselves up in German restaurants. There is not a single Jew that has destroyed a church. There is not a single Jew that protests by killing people.



The Jews don't traffic slaves, nor have leaders calling for Jihad and death to all the Infidels.



Perhaps the world's Muslims should consider investing more in standard education and less in blaming the Jews for all their problems.



Muslims must ask 'what can they do for humankind' before they demand that humankind respects them!!



Regardless of your feelings about the crisis between Israel and the Palestinians and Arab neighbors, even if you believe there is more culpability on Israel 's part, the following two sentences really say it all:



' If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel' - (Benjamin Netanyahu)

The Axis of Idiots

J.D. Pendry is a retired Marine Sergeant Major who writes for Random House. He is eloquent, and he seldom beats around the bush!) [LINK ME TO: The Axis of Idiots]

The Next Building Bust

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Demand for new homes collapsed last year. Next up could be a similar drop in the rest of the construction market -- and that could be the latest drag on an already sputtering U.S. economy. [READ MORE]

Scientist Shifts View on Global Warming

WASHINGTON (May 18) - Global warming isn't to blame for the recent jump in hurricanes in the Atlantic, concludes a study by a prominent federal scientist whose position has shifted on the subject. [READ MORE]

Why the Candidates Dodge Offshore Drilling

Why the Candidates Dodge Offshore Drilling
By JIM MCTAGUE

OUR THREE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES SHARE THIS PECULIAR infirmity: None of them has any backbone. If they did, then instead of blaming Big Oil for soaring energy prices, they would stand up to some real culprits responsible for the run-up. These are politically powerful coastal states like Florida, New Jersey and California, which time after time have placed their parochial interests ahead of the nation's critical need for energy independence by prohibiting the offshore production of natural gas and oil. [READ MORE]

Is ExxonMobil's future running dry?

Are we witnessing the death of ExxonMobil?

Strange question to ask with oil above $120 a barrel and ExxonMobil reporting $11 billion in first-quarter profits?

Not if you understand that ExxonMobil's management has bet the company. If that bet is wrong, over the next 15 years or so, investors will get to watch the gradual disappearance of ExxonMobil.

[READ MORE]

Food Crisis Starts Eclipsing Climate Change Worries

The campaign against climate change could be set back by the global food crisis, as foreign populations turn against measures to use foodstuffs as substitutes for fossil fuels. [READ MORE]

Why a Weaker Dollar Means Higher Oil Prices

The dollar's tailspin since the Federal Reserve began to cut interest rates is giving an updraft to already bullish crude-oil futures, and analysts say that relationship will continue driving oil and the currency both in their current directions.

"The much larger structural story [of the oil price rise] is demand from emerging markets -- in particular, China -- but in recent months, the dollar has depreciated sharply," which has in turn pushed up crude to all-time highs, said David Powell, senior foreign exchange analyst at IDEAglobal.

Oil is produced in dozens of countries around the world, but its standard trading unit is in dollars per barrel.

"As the dollar declines in value, so does the price of oil in non-dollar terms," said Michael Woolfolk, senior currency strategist at the Bank of New York Mellon. "Consequently, foreigners bid up the price of oil and other dollar-denominated commodities. [READ MORE]

Catching Wild Pigs

There was a Chemistry professor in a large college that had some
exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab
the Prof noticed one young man (exchange student) who kept rubbing his
back, and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student
told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while
fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow
his country's government and install a new communist government.

In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a
strange question. He asked, 'Do you know how to catch wild pigs?'

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line.
The young man said this was no joke. 'You catch wild pigs by finding a
suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find
it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to
coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they
are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat
the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to
that and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides
of the fence up with a gate in The last side. The pigs, who are used to
the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate
on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and
around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating
the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to
forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees
happening to America . The government keeps pushing us toward
socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of
programs such as supplemental income, tax credit for unearned income,
tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP),
welfare, medicine, drugs, etc. while we continually lose our freedoms -
just a little at a time.

One should always remember: There is no such thing as a free Lunch!
A politician will never provide a service for you cheaper than you
can do yourself.

If you see all of this wonderful government 'help' is a
problem confronting the future of democracy in America, you might want to
send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to
your way of life then you will probably delete this email, but God help
you when the gate slams shut!

In this 'very important' election year, listen closely to what the candidates are promising you ----just maybe you will be able to tell who is about to slam the gate on America.


'A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big
enough to take away everything you have.' - Thomas Jefferson

The New York Times v. Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez is a threat

Missile defense- The US-Russia-Iran knot

Obama, Clinton, and McCain Won't Save the American Economy

Clinton's Plan To Create Three Million Jobs

Can John McCain win if US has recession-

Clinton, Obama attack McCain on economics

Wall Street Shows Optimism That Crisis Is Fading

Profits realistic, oil execs insist

Letter- Taxes forcing people out of homes

Florida lawmakers should look at property values to adjust real ...

Cuba's Opening Marks Shift Away From Fidel

Cuba after Fidel Castro- Time to go-

Castro's scientist son highlights SA-Cuba biotech potential

Parachute thought to be DB Cooper's believed to be from 1945 ...

Sprint Nextel's Last-Ditch Weapon

Environmental Laws to Be Waived for Fence

Dropout rate drops jaws- SJ ranks 8th-best in US

Experts to testify of 'growing' nuke threat to US

Coast Guard auctions off lighthouses

Discovery- Oldest gold jewelry ever found

Explosive Materials Found in Luggage at Orlando Airport

Woman Goes for Wrinkle Surgery, Gets Bigger Breasts Instead

Scientists mix human and cow DNA in embryo...

WATCHING- Government Centers Tap Into Personal Databases...

Street-sweeper cameras to tackle illegal parking...

UNITED AIRLINES grounds 52 BOEING 777 aircraft for emergency inspections...

BBC POLL- USA image improves after years of decline...

BOTOX May Move From Face to Brain, Study in Rats Says...

Massive Job Cuts in Space Program Likely...

Credit card companies' evil tricks

By Liz Pulliam Weston

Parents spend the first several years of children's lives teaching them how to play fair. By the time we hit elementary school, most of us are pretty good at knowing what's just and what's not.

That sense of fair versus foul, though, tends to get tangled up in the world of credit cards. Some practices that seem egregious at first glance actually make sense when you understand their rationale. Other policies don't hold up so well to scrutiny, even though they're widely accepted in the industry.

What makes matters more complicated is that a few credit card issuers are bad to the bone. Some of the companies that have the most consumer-friendly practices in one area turn around and punish their customers unfairly in another.

[READ MORE]

Why the Fed's rate cuts won't help you

By Jon Markman

In its efforts to keep irresponsible bankers on Wall Street afloat, the Federal Reserve is spurring inflation, crippling the dollar and cutting into retirees' incomes. And mortgages and car loans won't get any cheaper.

The Federal Reserve today continued its attempt to get out in front of the worst financial crisis to hit the world banking system in five decades by slashing short-term interest rates by three-quarters of a percentage point, to 2.25%, the lowest level since 2004.

But the Fed's effort will have little effect on the ability of the average American to get a cheap loan for a new home, car or college education even as it has a large effect on U.S. banks' ability to fix their balance sheets by racking up fat profits.

[READ MORE]

What Buyers Want

By: Chris Lytle
Never approach a customer unprepared. According to a survey by Purchasing magazine, lack of preparation is the number one dislike buyers have about sellers, with a lack of interest or purpose following close behind. "Hello, your account has just been assigned to me," is blatant behavioral evidence that the salesperson is going through the motions. [READ MORE]

• U.S. swamped by credit card debt



• Amazing memory man never forgets



• High-speed Internet sat blasts off



• Obama takes heat for missing event

• More people tapping 401(k) for cash



• Musharraf rules out resignation



• 24 cities to turn off lights for global warming



• Most states give green light to tamper-proof IDs



• Castro quits as Cuba president



• Commander- Iraq duty tours may be cut



• Man Charged With Plotting Super Bowl Attack



• Turning CO2 into chalk

America’s economy risks mother of all meltdowns

By Martin Wolf

“I would tell audiences that we were facing not a bubble but a froth – lots of small, local bubbles that never grew to a scale that could threaten the health of the overall economy.” Alan Greenspan, The Age of Turbulence.

That used to be Mr Greenspan’s view of the US housing bubble. He was wrong, alas. So how bad might this downturn get? To answer this question we should ask a true bear. My favourite one is Nouriel Roubini of New York University’s Stern School of Business, founder of RGE monitor.

[READ MORE]

More from Martin Wolf

Nationalising Northern Rock was the right move

Why Putin’s rule threatens both Russia and the west

Why a crisis is also an opportunity

Why it is so hard to keep the financial sector caged

Bernanke’s reflation gamble may work too well

The Bank must keep its nerve

Whythe global financial turmoil is like an elephant in a dark room

Regulators should intervene in bankers’ pay

Why sterling is the next dollar

Challenges for the world’s divided economy

• Venezuela Halts Oil Sales to EXXON MOBIL...



• Detroit Had Top Foreclosure Rate in '07...



• Limbaugh- I'm McCain's 'most valuable asset'...



• Hezbollah Says Top Militant Is Killed...



• India to announce lunar mission...