Monday, August 26, 2013 As of 7:22 PM EDT
Say the words "therapy session" and many people will picture an hour spent on a couch dredging up unhappy childhood memories. A different approach suggests that redirecting the focus onto the present and future can make people happier, healthier and lead to better relationships.
Robert Neubecker
The method, called Time Perspective Therapy, involves figuring out which of six different outlooks a person has: past-positive (you love the past); past-negative (you have regrets and bad things happened in your past—or things that you now exaggerate as bad); present hedonism (you enjoy the present and like to reward yourself); present fatalism (you feel that events are beyond your control, so why bother?); goal-oriented future (you plan ahead and weigh the costs and benefits of any decision); transcendental future (you live a good life because you believe the reward is a heaven after death).
The best profile to have, says Philip Zimbardo, psychologist and professor emeritus at Stanford University, is a blend of a high level of past-positive, a moderately high level of future orientation and a moderate level of selected present hedonism. In other words, you like your past, work for the future—but not so hard that you become a workaholic—and choose when to seek pleasure in the present. Dr. Zimbardo, an influential thinker in this field who lectures widely, administers a 56-item questionnaire to determine a patient's profile.
The worst time-perspective profile to have is a high level of past-negative coupled with a high level of present fatalism. "These people are living in a negative past and think nothing they do can change it," says Dr. Zimbardo, co-author of the book "The Time Cure." They also score low on present hedonism and have a low future orientation. People who are clinically depressed or have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder typically have this profile.
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Take the Quiz: Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory
Compare Your Scores
Our individual time perspective is influenced by many things, including family and friends, culture, religion, education and life events. As very young children, we were all pretty much purely hedonistic—focused on getting what we wanted when we wanted it. Some, but not all, of us become more future-oriented as we get older.
In a famous study in the 1960s, psychologist Walter Mischel, now a professor at Columbia University, tested the ability of young children to resist temptation for a future goal. He placed one marshmallow in front of each child and explained that they could eat it right away if they wanted, but if they waited about 10 to 15 minutes, they could have a second one to eat. About half the children gobbled up the treat right away; the other half managed to hold out for a second marshmallow.
The time perspective that the children had when they were young had a large impact on the way they behaved later in life. Dr. Mischel followed up with the children when they were teens, and then in middle age. The individuals who resisted the marshmallow at roughly ages 4 and 5 performed better in school, scored an average of about 250 points higher on their SATs and had happier family lives. Those who ate the marshmallow immediately had more emotional problems throughout their lives.
The good news, says Dr. Zimbardo: People can change their time perspective. Between 2004 and 2012, Time Perspective Therapy was administered by Dr. Zimbardo's co-authors Rick and Rosemary Sword, therapists in Maui, to 32 veterans with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, all of whom had been through other therapies without positive results. All 32 saw a significant decrease in anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms.
A person can raise a past-positive score, Dr. Zimbardo says, by focusing on the good in your past: create photo albums, write letters of gratitude to people who inspired you, start an oral history of your family.
Your future orientation can get a boost by organizing your calendar or planning a family vacation, actions that get you to envision and plan for a positive future. And volunteering or becoming a mentor can help you see that your actions can have a positive impact.
And you can increase your present hedonism—selectively!—by doing something to balance your mood, such as exercise or a nature walk. Also, reward your hard work with an activity you enjoy: dinner with a friend, a massage, an afternoon playing your favorite sport.
To lower your past-negative scores you can work to silence your pessimistic inner critic by meditating or keeping an ongoing list of all the good things in your life right now. "It's thinking about what's good in your life now, rather than what was bad in your life then," says Dr. Zimbardo.
And you can reduce your future fatalistic perspective by learning a new skill or hobby that allows you to see your change, and doing it with a partner—it's less isolating and the other person can give you positive feedback.
Dominic Monahan not surprisingly had a negative perspective after he was laid off from his job as a project manager at a printing press manufacturer in 2009, and moved into his mother's suburban Chicago basement. He sent out hundreds of resumes—and landed no interviews. "I had no hope and was living in the past," says the 42-year-old. "I was ready to give up."
Mr. Monahan admits he was always pretty focused on present gratification. He preferred to ride his mountain bike, run, hunt, "or do anything" instead of studying. He dropped out of college, joined the Navy and held a series of technician jobs after he got out. He says he tried college several more times without graduating.
He tried psychotherapy after he lost his job, but quit because he felt it was just paying someone to listen to him complain. While he didn't try Time Perspective Therapy specifically, his experience shows how the method can help a person recover from a downward spiral.
He eventually gained 60 pounds (eating peanut butter by the spoonful) and began sleeping 18 hours a day. When he outgrew his sweatpants, he says, he decided to turn his life around. He signed up for an online finance degree, and the condensed classes helped him to feel he was making progress. He recently graduated. He also got a temporary consulting job at a company that uses new technology to purify wastewater.
He started to exercise and took up the martial art Tae Kwan Do. His instructor, who is also a psychologist, taught him to talk back to his negative inner voice. Now, when he starts ruminating on mistakes he's made in the past, or tells himself there is no hope, he says out loud: "Stop…This behavior is not going to move us in a positive direction or make us happy."
Mr. Monahan still lives with his mom. He has lost 35 pounds and says his hunt for a financial analyst position and his goal of achieving more Tae Kwan Do belts keep him focused on the future.
The small steps he took all added up and "helped me get out of the negative past, be in the present and plan for the future," he says. "Over time they started to change my subconscious into believing there is hope."
A Path to Happiness
To determine what steps people should take to boost their happiness, the Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory questionnaire asks people to rate 56 statements, including the seven below, as very true, true, neutral, false or very false. For the full quiz, visit www.thetimeparadox.com
I believe that a person's day should be planned ahead each morning
It gives me pleasure to think about my past
When listening to my favorite music, I often lose all track of time.
It upsets me to be late for appointments.
I've taken my share of abuse and rejection in the past.
It is important to put excitement in my life
Taking risks keeps my life from becoming boring
Source: Philip Zimbardo, Stanford University—Write to Elizabeth Bernstein at Bonds@wsj.com or follow her column atwww.Facebook.com/EBernsteinWSJ.
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When offering career advice to young professionals and entrepreneurs, the two things that always top my list are to find a mentor and to read voraciously. Throughout the course of my life, I have been blessed with multiple mentors -- mostly teachers, professors, bosses or colleagues. In addition, I have gathered useful advice from reading, and observing the actions of individuals who I identify as some of the world’s best leaders, both past and present. The following are 8 notable quotes from these “leaders” that have inspired me and helped to shape my principles as a business owner.
Do you have the right domain skills? One of the most obvious first questions is if you have the domain skills required to do the job. If this is an engineering leadership job, have you demonstrated the expected skills successfully for a long enough time? If you are changing to a new domain, what is it that makes you think you are ready or able to pick up the necessary skills? It is not uncommon to approach a potential role because of the domain. In that case, are you sure about the match between you and the domain?
Do you have the right management skills? One of the biggest career transitions is first to a manager, then to a manager of managers. Being a manager is just as much a skill as domain skills like coding, testing, design. Just like those skills, not everyone has those skills and everyone has their limitations. Management skills required might be the size of the team or might be managing a certain job function, or it might even be a change in geography and managing remotely or moving.
Are you a good match for your future manager? Chances are very good that a hiring manager is spending considerable energy considering if you are a good match for him/her or his/her set of direct reports. If the role involves management, both of you are probably spending a good amount of energy considering if you are a match for the existing team of people. Are you spending enough time considering how good a match you think the manager is for you? Do you really know the manager? Have you asked others who have worked for this manager about style and approach (just has he/she is probably asking about you)? If you're approaching the potential role because of the manager, can you articulate the reasoning as a positive for the new manager rather than a negative for your current manager?
Do you understand what leaps you are making? Any change in roles involves leaps—whether the move is to a new company, or within a company a lateral move or a promotion. The leaps are the parts of the job that are the big changes from your current role. Of course leaps are usually the reason you are thinking of a job change. There’s a tendency to focus on the largest of leaps, but in thinking through a fit you want to characterize the full set of leaps you’re making. The appropriateness of the new role can be thought of as the accumulation of all the leaps or sometimes it is just that you’re making too big a leap. For example, if are suggesting a change in job scope and a change to management at the same time, this might not give you enough of a “strength anchor” to count on. You might have only a short time of experience as a manager and the leap to managing managers might be coming too soon. You might be amazing at one job function and ready to manage that, but the job might involve managing your job function for the first time and also managing a second or third job function.
Are you pacing yourself? Early in a career is very exciting. Everything is new and you’re anxious to see things play out. These emotions can push you to want more and sooner from your job. This can mean turning the marathon that is a career into a sprint. It can mean applying for jobs that you’re not yet ready for too often and/or too soon. You might consider learning about typical “velocities” and typical tenure in your existing role before considering trying to move “fast”.
Do you have a succession plan that will work? Work needs to continue and whether you’re a manager or not, knowing how your work will get done is key to making a job change. Managers are notoriously anxious or defensive about moves when there is a lot of work to be done. It is always always important to be prepared to talk about how a transition would take place. Failing to do so credibly can really dampen support for a job change. Does your succession plan really work or require you to be in two places at once or require a 
Did you remind yourself this isn’t the last job opening, ever? It is not uncommon to feel like you’re 
Did you seek the job or did it just pop up? One of the crazy ways to change jobs is to not be looking for a job and then one just shows up. Serendipity can be an amazing good fortune. It can also confuse you—it can make you think a job is perfect for you when it isn’t or it can make you look for a job when the timing isn’t right. Just as a job that becomes open is not the last one ever, if you’re doing a good job but the timing isn’t right, other opportunities will come along.
